Gu 2 Anytime Chocolate Hazelnut Squares

I can often be found lurking in assorted convenience stores, attempting to source munchies that are little seen or heard about nut like any member of a glorious capitalist society, I am also known to shop in Tesco’s.

It was during one particular shopping trip that I stumbled onto these Gu cake treats positioned as an impulse buy (obviously working upon me) at the end of an isle, and of course in it went to my basket. Essentially, these are a tweak on a Millionaire Shortbread, with a biscuit base topped with a consecutive layer of caramel and, in this case, dark chocolate and hazelnuts.

This, of course, was not made clear in the name upon pack, which is as non-committal and indistinct as beige, but my eyes, and of course mouth, do not deceive me. Inside was what appeared to be a single bar sliced apart into three ‘nibbles’, perfectly sized to savour as a decadent whole. The initial taste is of the salty, soft chocolate biscuit base and hazels on top, which with first bite tastes just like the hazelnut Maryland cookies. Once I started to register the subtle nuttiness, the caramel flavour develops and finishes off with a sweet burst that in turn is restrained by woody nuts and the darker chocolate alongside it

I really enjoyed this, but as with Marylands, I found myself desiring more the moment my mouth is empty, so perhaps three in a pack is a cunning way to get me to spend my money, or keep my waistline in check. Either way, I find it a sad reflection of the times when the modifier ‘millionaire’s’ is diminished as superlative, since here Gu have wrapped an exquisite example up in a horribly contrived name.

Thorntons Cloudy Lemonade

In a change from the norm, I felt this block was worthy of a review feature for few different reasons. Thorntons are celebrating their 100^th anniversary and are currently having a really hard time of it. Seeing as this was one of the anniversary products, and that a little bit of support for the old dog wouldn’t go amiss, I upgraded this to review status!

The bar comes in a 100g square block, which is packaged inside foil and this minimalist box. It looks neat on the shelves and when opened up allows the chocolate to be appreciated at its optimum. A combination of white chocolate, lemon oil and popping candy is used to emulate a classic Lemonade drink, and even though not one of the constituents are particularly favourable to me, I was mightily impressed with its execution.

Popping candy is a divisive inclusion, but I felt that it was both well implemented and befitting of the bars concept, and the creamy feel of the white choc was similar to the thicker texture of cloudy artisan lemonade. A light lemon smell had come from the bar, and the citrus flavour was balanced well, and without the poor cheesiness I have experienced elsewhere.

So why are Thorntons in trouble? They clearly can make some fine chocolate, give them a hand and buy a bar (or two!).

Needler's Turkish Delight

Needler’s are brand that I wasn’t terribly familiar with (only knowing the name from ‘caramel cups’ tubs in sweet shop) so when I picked this up, I felt I'd better check out a little background information. But, it seems like even the totalitarian grip of Google cant offer up much about the company… And after a few miss directed searches, I discovered they were founded in the 1890’s, and are now owned by Ashbury chocolates, the manufactures of many supermarket own brand chocolates (and infamously criticised by Gordon Ramsey, even though the chocolates that bear his name are also produced by them). But I tried to put this aside, and consider the bar on its own merits, whatever they may be…

The bar featured several blocks of rose Turkish delight encased in chocolate. This outside layer looked similar to Bournville chocolate, with a semi dark colour and a claimed 30 percent cocoa mass (min). Whilst Bournville is far from gourmet, it sadly turned out to be several paces ahead of this. The greasy low quality chocolate had a lack of melt and split like warm chocolate, with little snap. I initially thought of the uneasy melt-free texture of U.S chocolate, and upon inspection I noticed the bar is exported to the hot climate of Australia. At least I knew the bar didn’t intentionally mean to offend!

The filling though had no such excuse, and was lacklustre in its contribution to the bar. A synthetic composition meant there were none of the floral perfumes associated with authentic Turkish delight, and was in truth, rather bland. In fact, that seems to be the best way to sum the entire experience up, not offensive, but entirely forgettable.