Baker Boys Coconut cake slice

First off, sorry for the following image. I'm afraid the package was far from easy to photo!

I'm sure all of us can remember the jam and coconut sponge squares served up at school dinners. If you don’t, I fear you missed out on one of the pleasures of early childhood and, as an unusual child, I would show my affection (and hopefully turn a few stomachs!) by referring to it as Blood and Dandruff cake.

To my recollection I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a pre-packed interpretation and so it came with great pleasure and surprise to see this offering from Baker Boys, who were responsible for a previously noted and delightfully nostalgic carrot cake.

This Coconut cake slice once again came in a sizeable serving and once extracted from its wrapper, I bit in with anticipation but disappointingly was let down. A light moist sponge, similar in texture to a muffin, gave way easily but had little flavour and seeming being ephemeral in the mouth. Worst was the jam and coconut topping, which could equally be described as a bland sticky substance topped with white flakes that apparently was desiccated coconut. These two aspects had no distinctive element or taste and seemed to exist only for aesthetics, whilst I presumed also that their aroma would be evident, yet there was only the slightest trace of stale brioche.

I was compelled to eat the whole thing believing it would sate my appetite, however the sponge is so fluffy and obviously processed that it solved nothing. To cap it off, the amalgamation of emulsifiers, preservatives and raising agents left distinct a coating in my mouth for a good 10 minutes after. Horrible.

Perhaps a little vanilla in the sponge, and a better quality, single fruit jam (Raspberry is the obvious option) would help all these woes, but its seems that Baker Boys try to mask the problems by instead providing a extravagant serving.

Leave it in the past, or save money by cooking your own!

Quordon muffin Co. Jam Roly Poly muffin

Having been largely disappointed by these Quordon Mufins, I wasn’t anticipating any major amendments in the quality of this Jam Roly-Poly muffin. I made a mistake. I opened the packet, and a sweet vanilla aroma wafted forward. Tempting me in, the muffin broke into my mouth with the aforementioned moist, springy texture and a hit of vanilla flavour came from the crumb, before the pocket of jam burst into my mouth and added a subtle natural fruitiness that complimented the sponge to good effect.

Neither aspect was dominant, and fused together in my mouth to give a really satisfying translation of the pudding, and captured its pleasurable qualities in an alternate form.

Gu 2 Anytime Chocolate Hazelnut Squares

I can often be found lurking in assorted convenience stores, attempting to source munchies that are little seen or heard about nut like any member of a glorious capitalist society, I am also known to shop in Tesco’s.

It was during one particular shopping trip that I stumbled onto these Gu cake treats positioned as an impulse buy (obviously working upon me) at the end of an isle, and of course in it went to my basket. Essentially, these are a tweak on a Millionaire Shortbread, with a biscuit base topped with a consecutive layer of caramel and, in this case, dark chocolate and hazelnuts.

This, of course, was not made clear in the name upon pack, which is as non-committal and indistinct as beige, but my eyes, and of course mouth, do not deceive me. Inside was what appeared to be a single bar sliced apart into three ‘nibbles’, perfectly sized to savour as a decadent whole. The initial taste is of the salty, soft chocolate biscuit base and hazels on top, which with first bite tastes just like the hazelnut Maryland cookies. Once I started to register the subtle nuttiness, the caramel flavour develops and finishes off with a sweet burst that in turn is restrained by woody nuts and the darker chocolate alongside it

I really enjoyed this, but as with Marylands, I found myself desiring more the moment my mouth is empty, so perhaps three in a pack is a cunning way to get me to spend my money, or keep my waistline in check. Either way, I find it a sad reflection of the times when the modifier ‘millionaire’s’ is diminished as superlative, since here Gu have wrapped an exquisite example up in a horribly contrived name.

Margaret's Country Kitchen Bakewell Tart

There is a newsagents a that I often drift into whenever I pass through the my nearest train station, and they often stock items I rarely see elsewhere. After one particular recent expedition to Another Place, I stopped by and found this tart to satisfy both curiosity and my calorific needs.

As I have already mentioned, any Bakewell themed foodstuff immediately catches my eye, and so I tucked in with little awareness of the brand or reasonable grounds for expectations. The fondant iced topping had deposited its sweet smell through the plastic wrap, an odour that was undemanding and old fashioned, and like-wise tasted like any plain icing sugar and water mix. A glowing glace cherry in the centre completed the expected aesthetic. The pastry case is disappointingly tasteless recalling any number of indistinct, slightly cloying industrial pastry items. Pastry is rarely done well in ready made items, and like those it was cloying and heavy. YUM!

Getting inside the almond sponge was simple and offered a denser contrast (the only time a dense sponge has been a positive) to the damp outer pastry. Light nuttiness played off the sweetness of the icing and jam adequately, and made it rather satisfying, appealing to the lowest common denominator. The jam, a mix of several fruits, actually had a influence to flavour, even tough it was slither of its entirety. So hardly jam-packed, but enough to give it an agreeable sweet fruitiness.

Its hard to really review things like this, since they appeal to the childhood memories and take on the appropriate nostalgic denotations. Therefore I was distinctly unimpressed by this, yet I also found myself contrastingly enjoying it. I felt it was a classically generic cake, the type of product a nice granny would offer alongside a sugary, milky cup of tea if she was extremely fond of you. Good times eh?

Quordon Muffin Co. Sticky Toffee muffin

First off today, sorry for being away so long, its been a long, hard fortnight at work which had forced me to take a momentary brake from blogging. Now on more important things, I have returned to Quordon muffins and the limited edition puddings range for this latest taste test.

My hopes with these muffins have diminished proportionately with each one I have tried, so came to this one with a slight hesitancy and low expectations. The texture again had a denser consistency, which, with its moistness, gave the muffin a delightful gooeyness and decadence that was really appropriate, and befitting of the conceptual flavour. The warmth of pudding captured in the rich aroma, but lacked the buttery essence. Biting in, it had rather one-dimensional toffee taste that’s pleasant but has no depth or development. Sweet but without the necessary creaminess, and a lack of the essential dates gave it an experience that was closer to a synthetic confectionary rather than what it aspired to.

Essentially, it captures the generic mass produced taste of Sticky Toffee pudding, but finally one of this Quordon range actually has a stronger flavour. With these desserts being such an integral part of our British food heritage, it would be preferable if a little more care and attention was taken in with these mass produced ‘interpretations’. For Shame again.

Thorntons Cloudy Lemonade

In a change from the norm, I felt this block was worthy of a review feature for few different reasons. Thorntons are celebrating their 100^th anniversary and are currently having a really hard time of it. Seeing as this was one of the anniversary products, and that a little bit of support for the old dog wouldn’t go amiss, I upgraded this to review status!

The bar comes in a 100g square block, which is packaged inside foil and this minimalist box. It looks neat on the shelves and when opened up allows the chocolate to be appreciated at its optimum. A combination of white chocolate, lemon oil and popping candy is used to emulate a classic Lemonade drink, and even though not one of the constituents are particularly favourable to me, I was mightily impressed with its execution.

Popping candy is a divisive inclusion, but I felt that it was both well implemented and befitting of the bars concept, and the creamy feel of the white choc was similar to the thicker texture of cloudy artisan lemonade. A light lemon smell had come from the bar, and the citrus flavour was balanced well, and without the poor cheesiness I have experienced elsewhere.

So why are Thorntons in trouble? They clearly can make some fine chocolate, give them a hand and buy a bar (or two!).

Mrs Crimbles Giant Chocolate Macaroon

I will get it out of the way now; I’m not very familiar with macaroons so my opinion is a shot in the dark really! I’ve been trying a variety of wheat and/or gluten free foods recently out of curiosity initiated by a friend who is intolerant to such stuff and having seen these often in supermarkets, I bought it to taste.

The first thing I noticed was its substantial weight, and its neat star shape. The macaroon itself is soft and gooey, with a crisper crust and moist inner portion. The sweetened coconut is the primary taste, and the vanilla that is also evident pleasantly smoothes it off.

The chocolate meanwhile is very subtle, and when separated away tastes rather poor and nasty. It’s clearly not meant to be appreciated on its own, but rather, in this combination it surprisingly helps augment the other constituents of the macaroon, and becomes harmlessly agreeable.

One must note that the product is very rich on belly, and high in fat (well it is coconut Fool!), so don’t expect a light snack. I found it to be a pleasant luxury that can be enjoyed even if one can consume wheat and gluten, and so my explorations in to local free-from isles will continue!